Ugh! It’s that time again! The alarm clock goes off and you are desperately reaching out to hit that snooze button! You feel drowsy and not sure who you are or what dimension you are in, so you crawl under the covers of your comfy bed, contemplating whether to go to work or fake an illness. That morning routine of getting up and ready for work seems such an ordeal that even the thought of it is giving you a headache! Even if you are an “early bird”, you know that some days are hard to get through, so you need a bit of a boost to cheer you up and give a jump-start to your day. Well, grab a mug of coffee, let that first sip touch your soul and look no further than these funny good morning quotes!
It is understandable, not everyone can rise and shine at that same time, especially when you are a “night owl”, wondering how a morning can be good when it comes at so early an hour. The sun is calling you but you don’t feel like answering until later. You wish everything had a pause button to let you chase your dreams for longer!
However, it is not only the “night owls” that find it difficult to start their day in the morning. Here we have selected the most inspirational and funny good morning quotes to help you start your day off with a smile. Share them with your friends and loved ones to motivate them and lighten their day! Use them as captions to spritz humor and extra fun to your Instagram and social media posts! Bookmark them or save on your phone for a daily dose of sunshine in your life!
Table of Contents
- Funny Quotes To Start Your Morning With A Smile
- Short And Funny Good Morning Quotes You May Want to Post on Instagram
- Funny Good Morning Quotes For The Office or Workplace
- Funny Good Morning Quotes To Share With Friends
- Sarcastic Good Morning Quotes for a Dose of Realism
Funny Quotes To Start Your Morning With A Smile
Getting out of bed and participating in real life can be hard at times, but there is no need to fret! Our funny morning quotes will trigger positive vibes to help you kick off a happy day!
- Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. Paul Terry
- I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours. Jerome K. Jerome
- Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon. Tony Smite
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin
- When i wake up I’m so ugly even my iPhone doesn’t recognize me. Unknown
- The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. Jean Kerr
- I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. Lewis Black
- Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on? J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit
- Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well. Mark Twain
- When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said, ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’ Steven Wright
- I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off. Jarod Kintz
- People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh
- Today’s goals: Coffee and kindness. Maybe two coffees and then kindness. Nanea Hoffman
- Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not. Ursula Le Guin
- Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. Terry Pratchett
- When reality and dreams collide, typically it’s just your alarm clock going off. Crystal Woods
- Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day. Glen Cook
- Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make? Terry Johnson
- I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer. Douglas Adams
- I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. Woody Allen
- Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk. Robert Bloch
- Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. Will Rogers
- Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. Douglas Adams
- Life is something you do when you can’t get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz
Short And Funny Good Morning Quotes You May Want to Post on Instagram
A hand-picked collection of funny good morning one liners to use as witty captions to your Instagram and social media posts, or to send as a good morning text on messaging platforms.
- Reality continues to ruin my life. Bill Watterson
- Let’s carpe the hell out of this diem. Alexandra Bracken
- Good morning is a contradiction of terms. Jim Davis
- My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best. Winston S. Churchill
- The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me. Unknown
- The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin
- This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid. George V. Higgins
- Sometimes the sins you haven’t committed are all you have left to hold onto. David Sedaris
- Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. David Lynch
- Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something. Robert Heinlein
- There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. Oscar Levant
- I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it. Mae West
- Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. Joseph Heller
- If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf. Lemony Snicket
- I’m sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here. Arthur C. Clarke
- Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin
- A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. Phyllis Diller
- Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it. David Sedaris
- A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory. Mark Twain
- I have nothing to declare except my genius. Oscar Wilde
- To be is to do – Socrates
To do is to be – Sartre
Do Be Do Be Do – Sinatra
Kurt Vonnegut
Funny Good Morning Quotes For The Office or Workplace
Are you having a stressful day at work? Tired of the usual office drama? Because stabbing people is wrong, our funny quotes have been selected to lighten up your day at the office and make the daily grind more fun!
- I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Charles Lamb
- I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there. James Lileks
- Every now and then I like to do as I’m told, just to confuse people. Tamora Pierce
- The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost
- Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin
- Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could. Charles J. Sykes
- Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse. Thomas Szasz
- I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. W.C. Fields
- I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. Mark Twain
- I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. Douglas Adams
- Deadlines just aren’t real to me until I’m staring one in the face. Rick Riordan
- Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. C.E.M. Joad
- There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about. Oscar Wilde
- If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? Laurence J. Peter
- Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. Mark Twain
- I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain
- Begin at the beginning,” the King said, very gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop. Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
- Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Douglas Adams
- What irritates me most of all about these morning people is their horribly good temper, as if they have been up for three hours and already conquered France. Timur Vermes
It is not easy to be cheerful in the morning when everybody is like “let me have my coffee first and nobody gets hurt”, but some funny texting with your besties is all it takes to begin the day with a smile. It is just another way of putting friendship into words!
- All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. Charles M. Schulz
- Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. Steven Wright
- May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin
- The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they’re ok, then it’s you. Rita Mae Brown
- He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo. J.K. Rowling
- When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’. Groucho Marx
- I don’t want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there. Oscar Wilde
- The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. Groucho Marx
- I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure. Mae West
- I have great faith in fools – self-confidence my friends will call it. Edgar Allan Poe
- The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. Dorothy Parker
- My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is. Ellen DeGeneres
- I believe in talking behind peoples’ backs. That way, they hear it more than once. Fran Lebowitz
Sarcastic Good Morning Quotes for a Dose of Realism
Happiness is not having to set the alarm for the next day, the next best thing is our collection of funny good morning quotes that reflect a reality we can all relate with.
- So far as I know, anything worth hearing is not usually uttered at seven o’clock in the morning; and if it is, it will generally be repeated at a more reasonable hour for a larger and more wakeful audience. Moss Hart
- Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns
- Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
- It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it’s called Life. Terry Pratchett
- Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you’ll die of a misprint. Markus Herz
- Morning will come, it has no choice. Marty Rubin
- I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability. Oscar Wilde
- It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then. Lewis Carroll
- Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. Dorothy Parker
- Confidence is ignorance. If you’re feeling co*cky, it’s because there’s something you don’t know. Eoin Colfer
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